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lamianspectre at 12:14am on 10/09/2009
lamianspectre at 12:14am on 10/09/2009I haven't posted much lately. School and work are really taking up time, which, I suppose, is normal. It's not like I don't still do stuff on my computer anyway, my brain's just been too mucked up to bother posting.
It's September 10 by this clock, but the 9th was a crazy day. I had an interview for a 2 day internship with O Magazine to photograph a very large womens' expo. I'm not sure if I'll get it or not, but at least I tried. A lot of the people on the list didn't even interview, there was very little notice for the people who did actually sign up as interested. I wasn't even expecting to be doing it, but since I was picked, I figured I might as well.
So far I'm pretty spent on ideas. My big alter ego assignment was rough. I mean, the setup went fine and all of that part of it was ok, but the actual transparencies were a flop in my eyes. I did learn a lot from it, and I think from now on I'm going to shoot digital along with the 4x5 film camera, to make sure I'm getting the most out of my projects. It's not that I don't like working with the analog end of things, it's more that I don't really feel like I have a lot of room to mess things up. I could be going at that all wrong, but really, that's all I have. My gut instinct tells me to work hard and not give up, even though I know my own work ethic isn't that great. Of course, perhaps if I felt more motivated, I would do better. I'm not really sure on that.
I could go on and on about how tired I am at the moment, how stupid things make me cranky, but eh. What's the point?
I'm trying to force myself not to dwell on things, but it's very very hard. Some days it feels like my heart is full and happy, other days like it fell out and there's a huge black hole where it used to be. I'm not sure which is the true me, or if there IS a true me. If someone figures that out, I hope they can give me some guidance, because I sure as hell don't know what I want or who I am anymore...
It's September 10 by this clock, but the 9th was a crazy day. I had an interview for a 2 day internship with O Magazine to photograph a very large womens' expo. I'm not sure if I'll get it or not, but at least I tried. A lot of the people on the list didn't even interview, there was very little notice for the people who did actually sign up as interested. I wasn't even expecting to be doing it, but since I was picked, I figured I might as well.
So far I'm pretty spent on ideas. My big alter ego assignment was rough. I mean, the setup went fine and all of that part of it was ok, but the actual transparencies were a flop in my eyes. I did learn a lot from it, and I think from now on I'm going to shoot digital along with the 4x5 film camera, to make sure I'm getting the most out of my projects. It's not that I don't like working with the analog end of things, it's more that I don't really feel like I have a lot of room to mess things up. I could be going at that all wrong, but really, that's all I have. My gut instinct tells me to work hard and not give up, even though I know my own work ethic isn't that great. Of course, perhaps if I felt more motivated, I would do better. I'm not really sure on that.
I could go on and on about how tired I am at the moment, how stupid things make me cranky, but eh. What's the point?
I'm trying to force myself not to dwell on things, but it's very very hard. Some days it feels like my heart is full and happy, other days like it fell out and there's a huge black hole where it used to be. I'm not sure which is the true me, or if there IS a true me. If someone figures that out, I hope they can give me some guidance, because I sure as hell don't know what I want or who I am anymore...
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