Artwork, Musings & Dreams

There are some days when I wonder if I'm just a raving lunatic. I'm not really sure that isn't far from reality anymore. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life, things that I have to have faith in, and I kind of wonder if I'm taking the right course, or if once again I'm setting myself up for a colossal failure.

I hear things from other people, who look at me the way I look at someone else, and I wonder, if the someone I think of sees me the way I see the other people. It makes me sad, makes me wonder if, in truth, I am just as sad and pitiful as they are. It's rough, only because I've told him how I feel, and though I received feedback, I'm not sure if it means he just finds me as a very talented person, or if there could be more someday. I'm not sure if I want answers, or if I want ambiguity. I'm not sure what I'm ready for. I'm not sure what he's ready for.

I guess it's good to think out loud, show one or two people that I trust to look at things and be objective, and at least be able to say hey, I took a chance. I've taken a lot of chances in my life, and a lot of them haven't turned out so well until the last year or so, and since then I feel like I have a grasp on what I want out of life... well, parts of it. Not all of it, that's for sure. I guess life is about the mistakes you make on the way, and the journey it takes to get from point A to point Z and all the experiences, so who knows?

I know I don't...